


Fold In

by SomewhereFlying



Series: Cinnamon Dust [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crying, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 09:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16531544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomewhereFlying/pseuds/SomewhereFlying
Summary: As long as Goro was still around, the Thieves would be in danger - if not from him, then from Shido - and that was something he could no longer bear.Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is run away.ShuAke Confidant Week Day 8:Possibility|Acceptance|Sacrifice





	Fold In

* * *

 

Goro remembered reading about this, once, about how sometimes people who had resolved to kill themselves would become serenely content – because they knew it was all almost over. Goro thought that was sort of like what he was going through now. Not that he was going to kill himself – though it was something he’d contemplated before – but the ultimate result wouldn’t be too different.

Goro Akechi was going to disappear, and he was going to leave chaos in his wake.

The thought left him downright giddy.

By Goro’s calculations, he had six days to prepare. It wasn’t as long as he’d like, and he was worried that the rush might make him sloppy, but it was all he had, and he’d make do.

He started by withdrawing money from bank account, a little bit every day. He’d have to cancel his card, and he would need the cash. By the end of day six, he’d drained his account, and what he was left with wasn’t too much, but without the burden or rent or utilities, it would be more than enough for a short time – a year or so, perhaps.

With some of his newly-obtained cash, he went and visited a specialty camping store a little ways outside of the city. He bought himself an impressive hiking backpack, something made to carry as much as possible without breaking your back; a lightweight sleeping bag made of soft down, which could roll up into almost nothing for ease of carrying; a small, portable stove, and a canister of fuel to go with it; and lastly a sturdy, well-insulated cooler. All together it cost more money than he’d spent on himself over the course of the past year, and that, too, felt somehow liberating.

Then he went about ridding himself of his possessions.

He’d have to get rid of his laptop, and his phone as well… they had been gifts from Shido, and couldn’t be trusted. The rest of his items were safe, but likely unnecessary; he packed himself some functional clothing, some cutlery, a few books with which he couldn’t bear to part, and finally he purchased a new phone, something cheap but functional.

He packed up Akira’s damn stupid apron, as well. It was made of heavy material and it didn’t fold easily, but he wanted it to come with him.

Now all that was left was to procure the information that would seal the Phantom Thieves’ victory. This was the step where the most could go wrong, Goro knew. Stealing information from Shido without leaving a trace was a very tricky thing to do, not the least because the man was paranoid to a fault and hated to write anything down. There were some things, however, that had to be recorded, and these things Goro was able to copy, one at a time.

A profile on Shido and all his misdeeds made up the bulk of his present to the Thieves, but he also compiled as much as he could regarding the plan to assassinate Okumura, and even what notes he could find regarding what they had done to Sae-san, as well. These things were spoken of only in cryptic messages, using code words and hidden ciphers to convey their meaning, and if you looked hard enough, it all implicated Goro himself… but that was fine. They deserved to know.

Once he was sure he’d gathered everything he wanted, he flipped back to the very first page and wrote in neat, bold letters:

**Masayoshi Shido, Diet Building, Ship**

Akira would know what to do.

It was October 9th when he received a call from Shido, who informed him Okumura had received his calling card.

Kunikazu Okumura… Goro sighed. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t much care whether the man lived or died – in fact, he was still half-tempted to go through with the assassination. His daughter would certainly be better off for it, though she might not think so at first, but she had seen the true nature of his heart just as Goro had. In time, surely she would come to understand…

However, the stage was already set: if Okumura were to die, blame would fall to the Phantom Thieves, and to Akira. That was something Goro could no longer accept. So Okumura would live – or at least, he would not die by Goro’s hand, because tonight was the night Goro would disappear.

He packed his bag in the morning but waited until dark before he left his apartment for the final time. Before he could get to his true destination of the evening, however, he had to make a pit stop in Yongen-Jaya. He was a little self-conscious about the huge pack on his back, but no one seemed to pay him any mind, and he reasoned to himself that it was Sunday night… perhaps he simply looked like someone coming back from a long weekend camping trip.

Under the cover of darkness, he dropped off his folder at the Sakura household, addressed to Joker and Oracle. He was wondering how safe it would be to leave it in the mailbox when he noticed there was a light still on inside… someone was still awake. Without thinking, he rang the doorbell and bolted, disappearing around the corner and back into the Yongen-Jaya metro station before anyone had known he was there.

Then, in a quiet corner just outside Shibuya station, he activated the Meta-nav app. The world shifted and shimmered around him, and he almost had to laugh. After all that time he’d spent worrying about Mementos invading the real world, now he would call Mementos his home.

It wouldn’t be the first time. The very first day he’d awoken to his power, he’d been thrown into Mementos without warning and without explanation, and – to his knowledge – without a means of returning to reality. He had sat on the top floor of the subway station, too terrified to go down farther, and cried until exhaustion caused him to pass out, but he woke up the next morning completely whole and alive, and that was when he finally checked his phone and discovered his way out.

As he descended into the depths, striding through the tunnels with his pack on his back, he felt Robin Hood and Loki stir in his heart. He could sense their curiosity, though they kept blessedly silent, reading his thoughts and coming to understand his actions.

The shadows living on the early floors knew better than to pick a fight with him, and they scattered before him as he marched – at least up until he reached a very particular floor, on which every shadow seemed docile, lining up and waiting to use the still-functional trains.

It seemed like a stable place, comparatively; he knew Mementos was prone to shifting its form, but this place felt solid. He poked around in the darkened corners until he found an abandoned subway car. It was wrecked, but relatively in-tact and quite roomy, and he decided that would have to do.

He secured the subway car, jamming the all but one of the doors and the windows so that they couldn’t be opened, while Robin and even Loki worked to clear debris from the ground, removing the dangerous shards of glass and other unpleasant things from the floor. By the end of their work, the place looked almost… livable.

Goro unraveled his sleeping bag and set it down on a lightly padded bench seat. It was unnaturally long for a subway train, long enough that he could stretch his legs out fully if he were to lay down there, but he didn’t bother to question it. Perhaps the Metaverse knew what he was planning, and had changed in accordance to his cognition. Who knew how things worked down here? It might as well be the truth.

He was tired now, and checking his phone told him it was approaching midnight back in reality. Time passed about the same in Mementos, so he set an alarm on his phone; he certainly couldn’t trust his own circadian rhythm to wake him up when he was practically living in a cave… though it was a bit too light in the room for him to sleep comfortably.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, the lights in the old subway car began to dim, as if the world was reacting to his whims.

Goro kept his body suit on, though he removed his mask; he could easily envision rolling over in his sleep and jamming one of the sharp edges into his own eye. As an afterthought along those same lines, he removed his gloves as well, mindful of their sharp claws, and finally he crawled into his makeshift bed.

All around him, he could hear the ambient sounds of the Metaverse, and in the low light, it was easy to see the shadows that prowled around just a few yards from where he lay. Those creatures seemed to pay him no mind, however; he had Loki and Robin Hood to thank for that. The tireless manifestations of his soul were content to watch over him as he slept, and he knew he had nothing to fear – there wasn’t a shadow around that could match their strength and skill.

The bench on which he lay was hard and uneven, the one pillow he’d managed to bring was flat and a little lumpy, the air was sickly sweet and cold around him, and yet Goro fell asleep easily, more easily than he had in weeks back in reality. It should have been terrifying, or at least thoroughly unpleasant, but when Goro’s alarm woke him up eight hours later, he felt renewed.

He’d survived. No shadows ate him in his sleep, and Shido hadn’t sent anyone after him. Not that there was anyone else Shido could have used – Goro was the only one of Shido’s lackeys with the Meta-nav app – but the thought had definitely crossed his mind.

His chest was light. He was free.

 

* * *

 

Goro spent the next day holed up in his new home. Thanks to Akira, now he knew how to cook himself breakfast, and while the little camp stove was imprecise, he could still cook rice and eggs. He’d originally been hesitant to bring something perishable into the Metaverse, but his cooler was surprisingly sophisticated, keeping his items well-preserved. Once he was fed, he packed up his items and stowed them away in a dark corner of the subway car before barring the door from the outside, hopefully to deter any passing shadows from visiting.

Then he took some time to really _explore_ the place. He was most fascinated by the surface level, which was the closest to reality; as he walked around the cognitive subway, he found himself seeing flashes of the underground mall, of humans walking through and going about their daily business. None of them noticed him, of course.

One thing Goro discovered _very_ quickly was that there was no running water in Mementos. If he wanted to keep up anything resembling proper hygiene, he would have to risk leaving… but that didn’t _have_ to mean returning to reality. He pulled up the Meta-nav on his phone and typed in Sae-san’s keywords, and found himself immediately transported to her opulent casino-Palace.

That was a fortunate boon. He’d visited her palace many times before, just to make sure it was developing the way they’d planned it to, and he was well aware of the amenities her extravagant hotel offered. It was easy enough to trick the shadow-employees into offering him a room, and he was able to take a hot shower – the outlets even had electricity.

A fleeting thought crossed his mind that perhaps he could stay here and live out his fugitive lifestyle in relative luxury… but he quickly discarded that notion. Mementos was huge and ever-changing, while Sae’s palace was finite; if the Thieves infiltrated her heart, he would run a much greater risk of being discovered. And he didn’t even want to think about being trapped in the Palace as it collapsed.

Besides, it felt… too nice. Like it was something he didn’t deserve.

Time passed slowly when he had nothing to do, no obligations to which he must attend. It was a little overwhelming just knowing he had to answer to no one but himself any longer. Gripped by anxiety, he spent the rest of his afternoon hunting down shadows and eliminating them until his body ached from exertion. Only then did he return to his subway car, eat one of the convenience store meals he’d brought with him, and crawl into bed.

He fell asleep that night just as easily as he had the previous, but his sleep was interrupted in the middle of the night by the sound of chains – heavy, clinking chains dragging along the ground outside his subway car. There weren’t many things in Mementos that scared Goro any more, not when he’d grown so strong, but laying in his bed, utterly defenseless, he was paralyzed by the overwhelming power of whatever that _thing_ was crawling around outside. Goro lay still while Robin and Loki stood at attention, and the three of them held their breath listening to the sounds of groaning grow louder and louder… but the creature passed them by, and in time, the sound of chains left with it.

Goro fell back asleep, but he couldn’t quite get comfortable again.

On the morning of the 11th, Goro packed up his bags, secured his subway car, and left Mementos entirely. He was lucky it was cold enough outside that he could wear a soft knit beanie and bundle his hair up into a short ponytail, which he hid underneath the hat. With a scarf wrapped around his neck and a heavy coat, he was practically unrecognizable.

Returning to reality was almost more surreal than living in Mementos. He bought himself some crappy vending machine coffee, and as he sipped the acrid liquid, his heart ached for Leblanc’s comforting atmosphere and smooth, rich blend… but it simply wouldn’t be possible to visit. He couldn’t endanger Akira and the Sakuras like that.

Instead he traveled along the circumference of the city, seeking out a place for lunch – but specifically, a place with a television. After sticking his nose into a few small places, he found a busy ramen house that would suit his needs. The ramen was fine, nothing special, but he could eat in peace, and he could watch the news. He only had to wait a half-hour before the thing he’d been anticipating finally aired.

It was everything he could have wanted.

Okumura’s public confession went off without a hitch. He begged for forgiveness, he promised to make amends for his errors, and – Goro perked up – he promised to name others who were guilty of the same things as he.

Oh, Shido was not going to like that. He was going to scramble… he was going to look for Goro. He would need to lay low for a time; Shido would no doubt have his goons comb the city for him, and as clever as Goro was, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to evade them all.

Goro paid for his meal and slipped away.

He read a lot over those next few days, losing himself in novel after novel with a gusto he thought he’d lost. Reading had held no pleasure for him these past few years; there was too much weighing on his mind, and he couldn’t allow himself the luxury of free time. Now, however, he had all the time in the world, and his love for fiction reignited.

As he read, tearing through a collection of mystery novels he’d purchased on a whim and then never touched, Robin and Loki peered over his shoulder, reading along with him. They spoke to him only very rarely, but their omnipresence was a comfort; Goro thought he’d have gone mad without them.

One week later, he chanced another visit to reality. It was a terrible idea, but he needed more food and water, and besides, his curiosity got the better of him – he had to know what had transpired. Had everything gone to hell while he was gone?

On the surface, it seemed the answer was no. The city was bustling as it always was, people flitting about on their way to work or school, but there was an undercurrent running beneath that ordinary façade. He heard it in stranger’s voices: there was confusion, apprehension, _discord_ permeating the public’s mind… and he soon discovered why.

Someone had tried to kill Okumura. It was a sloppy attempt, a failed poisoning that was easily caught by Okumura’s personal security, and the news was going absolutely bonkers about it. Goro recognized the type of poison that had been reportedly used – it was the trademark of Shido’s most trusted hitman, the only one he employed aside from Goro.

Goro felt a cruel, smug glee. Shido was slipping. Without Goro, without his ability to destroy someone and leave no trace behind, he was vulnerable.

And Goro noticed one other thing, something he hadn’t been expected.

It was a news report about… him. About how he was missing, and had been for days. It seemed Shido was trying to pin the blame on the Phantom Thieves, but opinions were mixed, to say the least. He heard the customers around him gossiping about the same thing; no one could seem to agree. Shido’s popularity was taking a dive towards heavily mixed.

_Fascinating._

It wasn’t the controlled, calculated revenge he’d envisioned for Shido, but Goro couldn’t be unhappy with the results. Loki’s influence was rubbing off on him: he found this chaos to be beautiful.

 

* * *

 

Goro was surprised at how easily he adjusted to life in the Metaverse. The shadows seemed accustomed to his presence – he was even starting to _recognize_ a few of them, shadows who boarded the subway at the same time every day, no different than a human – and Goro had quickly become accustomed to the isolation. The only person he truly missed was…

He thought of Akira often, imagining what he must be doing right now. Had he led his team into Shido’s palace? Or perhaps Sae-san’s; her palace still existed, but that didn’t mean they’d never visited. The one thing he knew for sure was that they were all still alive and thriving, likely with a renewed vigor now that Okumura’s life had been threatened. The Thieves would end this on their own terms – of that, there was no doubt in Goro’s mind.

Sometimes he allowed himself the indulgent thought that Akira missed him, that Akira had even noticed he was gone, that he had read through all of Goro’s documents and realized what sort of a person he was, and still decided to forgive him. He imagined that Akira had tried to look for him, maybe, but had given up quickly; instead, he carried on the battle against Shido… perhaps in Goro’s memory.

It was a nice fantasy. It made him cry.

 

* * *

 

As loud and chaotic as Mementos was, it was also _predictable_ , and Goro had gotten so used to the ambiance that when he heard something out of place, it immediately stood out to him. He set down his book and listened. Footsteps, it seemed.

He pulled on his mask. Better safe than sorry.

The footsteps grew louder as the mystery creature pushed through the rubble with a clumsy strength. This was no shadow – its movements were far too solid – and Goro’s hunch was confirmed mere moments later when a humanoid figure appeared outside his subway car. The windows were clouded with age and dirt, making it impossible to identify the intruder as friend or foe. Loki and Robin appeared, and Goro put his hand on his sword hilt. This was his home now; he was ready to defend it.

The subway door scraped the ground as it was pulled opened, and Goro’s hold on his sword relaxed.

He’d never seen Joker up close before, always having trailed the Thieves from afar, but Goro knew for sure that this was him – the towering, feathered persona looming behind him was all the proof Goro needed. Joker stepped cautiously into the subway car, his eyes never leaving Goro’s. Those eyes… they were the same slate-grey he remembered. A wave of nostalgia hit him, so strong it nearly made him choke.

Joker removed his own mask first, confirming what Goro already knew: that it was Akira Kurusu under there all along. Without anything to cover it up, his face was shockingly honest, worn out, apprehensive, and… cautiously hopeful. When he took a step closer, Goro didn’t back away. He made no move to reveal himself, but he didn’t try to stop Akira, either. What could he want? He should have been furious – Goro would have been, in his shoes – but that wasn’t the vibe Akira was giving off.

Instead, he raised his hands to Goro’s head, delicately lifting the mask off his face and over his head, letting it drop unceremoniously to the ground, leaving Goro staring at him, his face fully bared at last. It was the first time either of them had truly seen each other, with all parts of their identities finally known and revealed. It was as though they were meeting for the first time.

Akira surged forward, and Goro flinched hard before he realized that Akira had wrapped his arms tightly around Goro’s shoulders, pulling him into a crushing hug. Goro went stiff, and then slowly, slowly slid his arms around Akira’s waist, pulling him close.

It felt like home again.

Goro couldn’t stop himself; when he blinked, hot tears ran down his cheeks, unleashing a torrent of emotion he’d kept inside all this time. He grasped Akira tightly, like he would disappear if Goro let go, and he felt Akira tremble beneath him. It was only after he heard the first choked sob that Goro recognized Akira was crying, too.

“Finally,” Akira said. His voice was raw, his body still shaking and his tears still flowing. “Finally, I found you.”

There were so many things Goro wanted to say to that: ‘I don’t deserve to be found,’ or ‘you’re better off without me,’ or even ‘I’m a dead man walking; I can’t go back now…’

But all he managed to do was choke out Akira’s name and hug him even tighter.

They stood there for an unknowable amount of time, each unwilling to let the other go after having been apart for so long. In time, however, Goro felt his tears slow down, his heart growing calm again as Akira rubbed slow, comforting circles across his back.

“We found him, too,” Akira said softly. “Thanks to you. Everything you gave us… it all pointed right to him. Shido.”

Goro nodded.

“We’re going to change his heart,” Akira said.

“Good,” Goro said. His voice sounded like coarse gravel, but Akira didn’t comment.

“You should join us,” Akira said. “It’s your fight more than any of ours.”

“I… I can’t,” Goro said. “I disobeyed a direct order… and I leaked so much information to you. Akira, if he finds me, he’ll kill me. That’s the simple reality of it.”

“He won’t,” Akira said. “I won’t let him.

“Akira–”

“Stay with me,” Akira cut him off. “I can’t stand it… thinking about you sleeping in here. Is this where you’ve been all this time?”

Again, Goro nodded.

Akira pulled away and held him at arms’ length. His eyes were red and glassy from crying. “Come to Leblanc,” he said. “I won’t be able to live with myself if I let you stay.”

There was no arguing with Akira’s tone, and Goro’s resolve crumpled like wet newspaper. He let Akira go and stepped away, packing up his campsite without a word. Hand-in-hand, they left Mementos.

When they arrived at Leblanc, every single Phantom Thief was there. All the members Goro had suspected – Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke – and a few he hadn’t – Makoto, Futaba, Haru – and of course, that little black cat.

“Hey, hey!” Morgana chirped, leaping up onto a barstool as they arrived. “Look who it is. Nice find, Joker.”

The room exploded into chatter. He was caught up in a wave of movement, dragged to a booth and sat in front of a plate of curry, which he ate quietly while the others filled him in on what he had missed. Most of it he’d already pieced together: Okumura’s attempted assignation, Shido’s scramble to recover his popularity before election day, but a few things he hadn’t, as well: that they had spoken to Sae and changed her heart without stealing her treasure, and that Akira suspected there was a greater force at work, something pulling the strings…

It was strange to feel so… _welcome_. He’d assumed after reading his file that the Thieves would want nothing to do with him – least of all Futaba, and yet she seemed one of the most open in the group, leaning in to give him snarky commentary on what the others said. It was all too overwhelming for Goro, but luckily, Akira seemed to notice, and after a short while he ushered the other Thieves away with the promise that they would reconvene soon.

Once they were alone, Akira took him by the hand and led him upstairs.

Just as he remembered, the attic was cold and dusty – and Goro had to laugh at the giant, tacky Phantom Thieves banner draped over the window – but it was comfortable, and it felt safe. Up here, he didn’t have to worry about the future, about logistical things like where he would live, how he would find work to support himself; no, these were problems for another day.

Tonight, he would let Akira push him gently down onto his futon, and he would let Akira sit down beside him, the thin mattress bending under his weight. He would let Akira put an arm around his shoulder and pull him close, and he would rest his head against Akira’s chest, finding comfort in his presence.

“Akira?” he asked. “How did you find me?”

“Arsene recognized you,” Akira said. “He told me he’d gotten a glimpse of you once, and when we were exploring Mementos one day… he got a whiff of your scent. Once I knew where you were, I just had to find you.”

“How… how long were you looking?”

Akira smiled. “Days,” he said.

Goro’s chest felt tight.

“… _why?_ ” he asked.

“What do you mean, why?” Akira looked at him with a bemused smile on his face, like it had been a stupid question. “Because I missed you.”

It was too much; Goro shut his eyes before he could shed any more shameful tears. “You shouldn’t have – you were so much better off once I was gone,” he protested.

Akira’s hands were soft and warm when they cupped Goro’s cheeks, electricity crackling beneath his thumb as he traced a line along Goro’s chin, grazing over his lips.

“You don’t get to tell me that when you weren’t here to see me after your disappearance,” Akira said, and even though he spoke so softly, those words stung. Goro bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. “If you knew what that did to me, Goro, you’d be apologizing.”

“I’m sorry,” Goro whispered. “I just—“

But all Akira needed to hear was “I’m sorry”. He cut Goro off with the delicate press of his lips, tangling a hand in Goro’s hair and holding him close, so close Goro thought his heart would stop, but nothing had ever felt more _right_. This was what Akira had always been trying to show him; this was the culmination of every moment they’d shared together since they first met.

Goro sighed and wrapped his arms instinctively around Akira, feeling all his anxieties slip away with every touch, every kiss. Tomorrow there would be work to do…

But tonight, this was enough.  

**Author's Note:**

> This week has been a delight - thank you so much to everyone who stuck around and read my pieces this week! Your feedback has been so kind and encouraging, and it means the world to me. ♥♥♥


End file.
